You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Just high enough for therapy.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
