I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
