he was CRYING into my vagina
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
