apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize