I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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