I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
