make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize