And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
