Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
