and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
