I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Randomize