So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
