i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize