It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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