Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
