How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize