Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
