btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
