butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
