Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
