I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
