she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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