So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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