So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
