He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
