By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
