Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
