ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
