i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
