A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Randomize
