I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
