i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
