So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
