we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
