im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
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