I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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