This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
