sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
