What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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