i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I need water and some morals
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