you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
