great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
