Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
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