census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize