Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Randomize