i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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