I must be too annoying 4 u.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
