it was like eating out sand paper
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Well I just put wine in my tea
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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