alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
be right there i have to get my cape
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
