Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
