Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I AM VODKA MAN
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize