yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
where are you?
Hypothermia
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
