May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Randomize
