I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
