Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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