He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
