ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
