what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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