ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
