I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
