I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You are a genius and a whore.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
