Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
