Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
