One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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