How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
