420 ftw
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
