apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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