I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
