drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
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