I can tuck mytits in my pants
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
