i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
