is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize