Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
