I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
