I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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