sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
