In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
