wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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